A woman invented a chaotic singles night out after years of frustration with dating apps

• Cassidy Davis hosted a house party with 65 men she was in a relationship with on dating apps, calling it a “chaotic singles party”.
• The concept was a success, so Davis continues to host venues in Los Angeles despite meeting her boyfriend at her first party.
• The welcoming atmosphere includes ice-breaker games and heart tokens for guests to give crushes on.

Cassidy Davis spent five years dating single men in Los Angeles and she was sick of it.

On dating apps, Davis said she would match seemingly compatible magicians, actors, writers and musicians, but grew weary when their in-person relationships were lackluster or downright disappointing.

“A dumpster fire, that’s how I would describe it,” said Davis, who works as an actor. As Valentine’s Day approached last year, she decided to delete her dating apps and try something completely different.

She asked her girlfriends to invite matches from dating apps they hadn’t met yet to her apartment for a mixer. Worried that no one would show up, Davis invited 65 men she was in a relationship with on Tinder and Hinge. Davis made a TikTok of the event, which she named “Chaotic Singles Party,” which went viral with 1.7 million likes and over 1,000 comments, including many users who said they wanted to join or launch theirs. And after Davis received rave reviews from her own guests (including one who would soon become her boyfriend), she decided to continue hosting lively parties in various Los Angeles neighborhoods. The concept remains: if you participate, use it as an opportunity to invite someone you corresponded with on an app, but who is still a stranger.

Davis said her millennial and Gen Z guests, who usually discover Chaotic Singles Party on TikTok or Instagram, often tell her how refreshing and welcoming the in-person experience is after years of relying on dating apps to find love. She hosted 17 parties in 2022, mostly in Los Angeles, and wants to expand to five new cities this year as her social media followers across the country beg her for their own parties, she said.

Davis hooked up with her boyfriend now at her very first mixer, but she’s still throwing them away

When Davis planned her first party, she said she broke her own rule and invited a handsome man she met at a bar, not on dating apps. She knew she had a crush on him, but wasn’t sure if the feelings were mutual, so she hatched a devious plan involving a video confessional.

“Everyone, tell us who you’re crushing on,” Davis told her guests after setting her phone down in her bathroom, a makeshift private cubicle for a confessional-style video she later uploaded to TikTok. . In it, she and her boyfriend of one year admitted that they love each other.

Even off the market, Davis decided to continue throwing the parties for her single friends and social media followers who loved the concept. She said focusing on her guests, rather than her own partnership search, was an unexpected benefit.

“It kind of allows me to be everyone’s companion and buddy at these events,” Davis told Insider.

Since her first party, Davis has found ways to make the experience more welcoming. She added icebreaker games, like question cards that ask “What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?”

Each guest also receives a “heart of gold,” a sticker they can give to their best crush before the party is over.

“And then there’s always that hot guy covered in hearts of gold at the end,” Davis said.

This year, Davis estimated that between 250 and 350 singles attended each Chaotic Singles Party. She hosted social media influencers and spotted a few contestants from Netflix reality show “The Circle” there too. Ticket prices have ranged from $10 to $85, depending on the specific party.

You don’t have to be an extrovert to attend Chaotic Singles Party

Davis said she’s always been outgoing, so she knew a blender would feel more fulfilling than meeting men on dating apps.

But for those who are introverted and worried about fitting into a massive singles mixer, Davis said she organized the event to be welcoming to anyone who wants to take a leap of faith to find relationships.

She said that once a group of single women bought tickets to Chaotic Singles Party, thinking they would make it just a pit stop on their parties. But after going to bars where it was unclear who was looking for new relationships, they returned to the Davis event for the rest of the night.

“They were like, ‘We missed the energy of the singles party where everyone was open. Everyone was welcoming and even though they weren’t into us, they were nice and respectful about it. ‘ Whereas in a regular bar it’s a lot fiercer, a lot more like a jungle,” Davis said.

She said she would estimate that half of her participants are self-proclaimed introverts who want to push themselves outside their comfort zone. For nervous first-timers, she suggested treating the event as a social experiment and inviting a cute stranger you corresponded with on a dating app. Even if you don’t click, your hopeful energy can propel you to other fun connections, Davis said.

“I feel like really putting yourself forward energetically opens the door to more dating opportunities. It might be the woo-woo LA girl in me, but I really believe it. My best advice is to be bold and step out of your comfort zone.”